CHANGES - 3 Tips to Help You Live Better with Them
Living in a world of constant transformation, we are basically given two options:
- Adopt a mindset and behavioral patterns that will help you adapt to change.
- Or, allow the pain and suffering of resisting change to be more and more present in your life.
The physical consequences of resisting change are something that everyone knows well: from constant fatigue to illness.
How to Benefit from Changes
The challenge is how to live less intensely and more harmoniously in this new scenario. How can we become more creative and make a difference in such an intense and polarized environment such as the one in which we live?
I once heard that the feeling of fear when there is so much change is nearly inevitable. When something is very good, the fear is that it will soon end. If it is bad, the fear is that it will last for too long.
* Mindset: a set of mental attitudes that directly influence our behaviors and thoughts.
The mindset change proposal is to fully live the reality that comes your way while remembering that certain skills are pivotal to success.
1. Have a mindset of growth rather than a fixed one
To explain this difference objectively, we will use the context from the book "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol S. Dweck:
The way I see the world and deal with what happens to me defines, to a large extent, what my actions will be in the face of adversity.
Remember: I only change my behavior, when I change my beliefs. If you do not change your way of seeing things, you will not be able to adopt a different behavior. As you may have heard, the definition of insanity is expecting different results with the same behaviors of the past.
2. Flexibility. You cannot experience a constant adaptation and less intense scenarios without flexibility.
In the last 15 years, that I have been in training and development in the Corporate world, I've heard many say they’re flexible, but in reality, they are "flexible as long as ...".
It is important to understand that flexibility is not conditional. It is a direct enemy, totally antagonistic to the need for control.
Do you know where your flexibility level is?
To quickly analyze your flexibility level, we invite you to answer a few questions:
- Do you always want things your way?
- Are you easily annoyed when things do not go as expected?
- Do you feel the need to be in control of situations?
- Do you tend to analyze things only with your point of view? Or do you try to understand the other's point of view to better understand the context?
This simple analysis will provide you with greater clarity on where your flexibility really is.
If you answered "yes" to at least two questions, you should consider working on your flexibility. If nothing else, you will suffer less when dealing with challenges on a day-to-day basis.
3. Ask more questions instead of stating rigid claims
For this, you will need to give up the many absolute truths that you have constructed throughout your life and vehemently question your beliefs.
This takes courage and detachment from your ego (look at it there again).
I usually give a very common example to explain this.
Twenty years ago, when one would think of success, they believed that they should study management, engineering, law, and other classic courses that would lead to a projected prosperous future.
If I were to say that I wanted to play video games, I would have certainly had immediate disapproval from most conservatives. Today, we have gamers who make $ 100k /month.
Typewriting skills used to be prerequisites in job interviews. Today, it's nearly obsolete.
The main issue is not that these things weren't true. It is that truths are rapidly no longer valid, and the attachment to them is what prevents us from seeing what is in front of our eyes. It is necessary that we learn how to ask questions, such as:
- Where did this concept come from? Can it be reviewed?
- Based on what? Since when?
- How long will this be true?
- Is there anything different that I can consider?
- What if this was not true?
- What is happening around me that can impact this fact very soon?
We need to understand that it is the questions that move the world, not the answers!
Finally, I like to say that in order to live in peace in such a fickle environment, we need to adopt a "WAZE mindset".
Ever heard of that? I love this analogy to explain that simplicity is in the way of dealing with things, and we have inspiring examples in this simple GPS application.
If Waze directs you to turn right and you don’t, does it judge you?
"I told you it was right. In fact, it is the fourth time today that you did not fulfill what we agreed upon! I'm tired of guiding you! "
Instead, it simply recalculates the route. So simple. No loss of energy, time, or emotional exhaustion. It just recalculates the new direction.
For this to happen, it’s necessary to have a clear destination. Otherwise, it won’t be able to direct you anywhere.
The same thing happens with our brains.
We need to set a destination and have the 3 skills I have mentioned to make the journey lighter and more fun. For the most difficult times, let this new mindset shorten the moments of suffering, through the right guidance and this incredible ability to recalculate the route.